she was so not down for the gang bang
Dude I just picked up a married chick while her husband was playing pool.
What do you mean you picked her up? How are you gonna leave the bar?
I didn't. I fucked her in the men's room. Come get me before he finds out.
barbara walters just said penis...
so thats when we found her crawling hands and knees up first street singing hold me closer tony danza as loud as she could
did she say where she was going
apparently she thought she was on morton hill and was trying to go back to the bars
Its like everytime i see you, my vagina gets a heartbeat.
can't remember last night but the beers were $3.50, so i can count how many I had by counting my quarters
i can afford to take several trips up and down the parkway right now if I wasn't still hanging over my toilet
"Guy Time" translaed into 10 shots apiece and me waking up covered in my own blood.
Brought 2 entire pizzas with to the bar, everyone loves us
he said verbatim, he wants to "bang you hard".
So I feel like I should feel objectified by your comment about my boobs but instead I just feel proud. 21ST CENTURY FEMINISM, BABY
Last thing I remember is whiskey shots. My roommate tells me we were there 15min before I decided to run home naked. And we live across from a police station.
Wet should excavate the hamsters out of the front yard n give them a proper burial.
Fuck baseball, getting drunk and playing with kittens is the REAL national pasttime
Just once I'd like to go out and not have to tell you to put your pants back on.
He sent me a snap with the dog tongue filter. I might have to bench him.
Randomize
