Promise me that if I become one of those sad people that facebook pesters you to 'reconnect with' you'll tell me so I can delete mine and save myself the humiliation?
She asked me to facebook all the girls I'd hooked up with. She started crying when I started my search with A.
Even tho I saw his penis. He is still a really nice guy.
Hold my feet while i lean out of the window of the truck.
She won't let me open the car door while we are on the highway so I can throw up outside. She deserves to have her car thrown up in.
I just want to jump into a ballpool of dicks now.
That girl next to you randomly said that she fits into a queen sized pillow case
WTF.
This is my transition from small talk texts to booty call texts. Coming over?
Quite the smooth talker. There in 5.
I am sending my doctor an XXXMas card thanking him for my tits!
Why is it that every study session with you turns into a hunt for drugs?
He asked me not to hook up with anyone else because it would hurt his feelings.. while his arm was around his pregnant girlfriend.
I'm so high. Midnight pancake breakfast in bed
Please let me buy the coffee, all my assets are in starbucks gift cards
I had a dream last night that I met Diplo. Now I'm just sad
Never let your siblings swipe right.
Randomize
