i just peed out my two story window using my cell phone as a flashlight . hope the neighbors didnt see
rainy day on campus = new personal fetish for girls in booty shorts and colorful rain boots
As I was going down on her I noticed she had a tatoo on her inner thigh that said "Eat it like your birthday cake".
Hannah wants to know if she cant borrow your stats notes because she threw up on hers.
He's hungover and at the neighbour's garage sale negotiating a price for a tuba.
We made out while a LIT cigarette dangled out of the side of his mouth. Disturbing or slightly erotic?
Good thing I took the morning after pill cuz I pretty much had packaged seamen in me like I was a squirrel saving it for later or something
I'm just so happy. I go to sleep and when I wake up there will be chocolate milk and penis.
But once you explained how to fill cupcakes with semen I realize you were harmless and right on my level.
We're super invested in me shitting to my full potential
Last night you texted me "tqiirkykbg doe freedom always"... why?
Thursday is not a good day to become a felon... It's bingo night
Is there ever a non-asshole time to play the "I was a child prodigy" card?
So is it your turn now to pretend like dating someone else would stop us from fucking?
My psychiatrist just sent me a dick pic
Randomize
