Now it won't go down.
You've got a gift.
very cute, but more "I wanna put you in my pocket and keep you as a pet" and less "please bang me" type of cute.
I can't be the first person ever who had to explain why her bottle of orange juice had a picture of a screwdriver drawn on it
The neighborhood kids rang the doorbell in the middle of my first bong rip to ask if they could use my trampoline for the thirtieth time today...I opened the door and pretended to puke up a shitload of smoke, I have never seen a more terrified group of children
When I get home we should play "let's see how many Christmas movies we can watch before we start having sex."
You stuck a chicken finger in that stripper's clevage and said "Keep this warm for me.
Living in the dorms has served one purpose and one purpose only for me: to teach me that pooping in public bathrooms is okay and that I can do it
i remember going to sleep after the 4th time i threw up this morning and hoping i didn't have to again because then it would be uneven between saturday and sunday. my ocd is getting out of control
He was talking up his golf swing like other guys talk up their dick. Is this adult dating or just another flavour of douchery?
I would like to formally reclaim my title of a turn up queen.
You would critique a dick pic. Damn art people.
Pussy, Peanut Butter Cookies,and Bubble Wrap
That's why we have robots to masturbate for us
yes we're having sex but I'm texting you...so what does that tell you?
I'm going to use this quarantine time to improve my blowjob skills.
Randomize
