You better get here soon. I'm about to spend $30 on a cactus online
i was just singing like a virgin out loud my mom told me to stop kidding myself
Do the low cut shirt test. If he stares at your tits even in front of your brother, he's down.
Adams eating in the shower, he says it's one of his favorite places to eat. Btw it's milanos he's eating, he says he loves italy too.
If i evwr doyble fist jack daniels and smirnoff again, i hereby give you permission to take them both away grom me and give me and give me a glass of wat
Why is it so hot and why are these the only pants in my life.
I punched some guy in the face for being an asshole then later I went to say sorry and give him a hug and he started making out with me. How was your new years?
Mehhh. I just tried to type 'extremely', and it auto corrected to 'creek rot'. IT KNOWS WHAT I LOOK LIKE
She told me she ate a whole pizza today, and I just wanted to hug her forever.
how does someone with a Masters Degree leave poop in an ashtray in the sink? It just blows my mind
he left a full can of coors light underneath my windshield wiper, like a love note. if that's not husband material, i don't know what is
So i came so hard i almost passed out, where has this vibrator been all my life?
I met someone else! And I had a wonderful orgasm! And he wants to see me again, like take me out!
Is it awkward to pay for your boob job with scholarship money? Either way, it's happening.
Think he has a gf
Yea that shit doesn’t necessarily stop me
Randomize
