I'm sooo using this pickup line: "Baby, its not the 2.5 inches... Its the 200 pounds behind it"
Big sunglasses are the new paper bag
ya. and they're way easier to confince girls to wear during sex
Exactly. I don't do penetration on the first date. Blowjobs however are perfectly acceptable.
I encourage the greeting beej. It determines if the dick is worth keeping around.
The look I see on guys faces when they realize my nipples are pierced remind me of when my mom used to come home from the grocery store and surprise me with poptarts.
when we got back we had sex. but it wasnt til the morning that i figured out her leg was broken
Guy next to me is looking up how to press his own ecstasy pills. I'm going to befriend him and see where this goes
I'll be listening to "I will always love you" and sobbing uncontrollably all night, care to join?
I just want him to come back from NOLA alive, without an arrest record or stripper glitter on his clothes...
Those seems like unreasonable expectations for a bachelor party honestly...
The drunk people on this bus are singing Journey songs. This is the whitest thing I've ever experienced
The 4th is next week. If we don't get to a new level of high, we will be letting down George Washington.
Shroomed with my best friend'a dad at his wife's surprise birthday party so you can say I have experience in the field
You have not lived until you've had your brains fucked out on a broken down Tunnel of Love ride. Life is good.
I would not recommend douching while drunk.
It seems that Coffee is the true alpha male.
i feel like doing his laundry was not included in the job description when we became fuck buddies.
Randomize
