I only want to know people that are dynamic intelligent and totally insane
No, I can't hang out with Dave because he already has a girlfriend. The one with the tatoos of cherries on her "cherry." Yeah, she doesn't really make me feel spectacularly comfortable.
Evryone should know as good ramen noodle cooked in beer sounds... its not
Just seen on a tshirt : "fake titties taste funny"
Why does it say "go to Planned Parenthood tomorrow" on my dry-erase board?
And Anthony pissed on himself at the strip club
yours is so small it looks like an acorn!!
no seriously he was fingering me like he was really really frantically looking for a song on his iPod.
She made me cum so hard I couldn't hear for half an hour after
All i know is we had 4 people on a tandum bike, and told the cops we couldnt stop because our momentum was so good.
For our final psych experiment, we're conditioning Tim to hump the nearest inanimate object and/or person every time he hears a Ke$ha song
he just kept texting even after we lit his shoelaces on fire. he just calmly walked into the pool... still texting.
You're the only person I know that could get laid while visiting their grandpa in florida
Can I trade you chipotle for a pregnancy test?
Why the fuck is there a goat in the kitchen
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