she was wearing a cheetah print one-piece and i slept with her anyway. big mistake.
In retrospect, it was a terrible idea, going down on her with these ulcers in my mouth.
I just want to get to the point in our relationship where I can get on top of her and fart and we can both laugh...not just me.
Just got a script for 120 vicodin with 6 refills. I feel like michael jackson.
I could make treat bags
We just built a bong out of a pineapple. I am never leaving hawaii. Ever.
Do you remember trying to eat gravel when we were walking back to the dorm?
the moment we started interpretive dancing last night wouldve been a good time to stop drinking.
normally i would apologize for my drunk texting but even sober me agrees.
Truth be told I was googling "why is my left calf bigger than my right calf", porn would've been a better excuse for a virus.
True life. I have to get a nose job due to a deviated septum from blowing coke. Thank you college.
No. I either had a 6 minute orgasm or I had so many I lost count. I'm still not sure.
he came during what was supposed to be the foreplay blowjob. there goes my evening.
I had one beer! ONE BEER! They took shots in mourning of my tolerance last night. My ability to drink is a joke.
It's like those toothpaste commercials where 4 out of 5 dentists would recommend your vagina
Fucked a DJ on a jetski today... I love florriidaaa!
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