We played Russian Roulette with a revolving Nerf gun. If you shot yourself in the face, you had to drink.
You've ruined blow jobs for me. You were the motzart of sucking dick, where every other girl is like awkward elevator music
Yeah i knew he wasn't okay when he told me he was "seeing his vision"
You were trying to swim on the floor while eating a hot-dog bun and laughing about how much you hate bread and didn't understand why you were eating it..
Hickies on top of my hickies. I need a leash and/or a positive female role model
Sometimes I love sober logical me. She makes rare appearances but when she does she shines.
Robert just walked in drunk, grabbed my Jameson from me, told me to let him do his thing, and spilled it all over the coffee table. Then he told me to grab a funnel because he was going home.
tried to chug a glass full of ice cubes. went better then expected.
Goodbye spring break, hello depressing video on AIDS.
At IHOP. It feels weird and sad that your cleavage isn't here for me to try to toss paper wads into.
My brain and heart say thanks but my vagina isn't super pleased with you right now
It's a little hazey but I think I tried to request Nelly last night. There was no dj. Not sure who I was talking to
It's a special kind of bond when your gay brother takes pics of you topless at a frat party.
These random guys found me. They told me not to wander in the woods and i remember saying 'am i fucking Bambi?! I'm not gonna walk into woods!' then i threw up.
Congrats, you are the first person our bartender ever met that actually needed wheeled out of a bar in a wheelchair. He said you were his hero.
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