You're making her cookies in enchange for knitting lessons. You will die a virgin.
I think it got a little awkward for her when my dad walked in on us and did nothing except leave half of his pizza on the table for us.
I threw up sweet potatoes. Worst thing to throw up ever. They came back mashed.
Can we promise no matter what that we have sex the night the Mayan calendar runs out?
he kept saying that we were in ian's fun time place and then continued to act like a dinosaur.
What's a good pandora station to masturbate to?
She pushed me over. She offered me a shot from her tits. We're good now
So looks like I applied to adopt a dog last night. I'm completely ok with this
It's like weed even makes my glasses better. Everything is so bright and clear and beautiful!
I feel like shit, and I can't get the band aids off my nipples.
I REMEMBER NUGGETS BEING THERE BUT WE WERE AT A TACO BELL
We figured you were on something when you said that your nipples couldn't hear the music.
After we had sex he went to the kitchen, came back with a bag of funyuns and ate them buck ass naked in his bedroom doorway. Had no idea how to react to that one.
Just got recognized as black out drunk girl. I'm never going to live that down, am I?
He's honking my boob in his sleep
It's innocent and endearing in some way
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