Discovered the coffee filter hasn't been changed in a while. I believe the mold has hypnotic properties. Would try it again, but coffee vomit is not pleasant.
I smell like Captain Morgan and tears
Oh, I forgot to ask if u have any idea what happened to the back of my ear and if u were present when I almost fell off the roof...
Im in the STD packet for new students this year. And im going to be plastered tonight so be forewarned
I didn't just get this from the chlamydia fairy.. You should probably get tested.
Apparently that big girl from last night tried to take me upstairs when I was blacked out and all I did was grab Qs arm and whisper 'don't let her take me'
Last night was so embarrassing. I got like almost blackout drunk and threw up in my hand and then blamed it on someone else.
But he has cupcakes AND I'm guaranteed an orgasm. .. I feel like I shouldn't even have to actually make a decision here.
Long story short, I found someone who takes me seriously when I say I have a Shakespeare kink.
I think all the guys I've fucked in my life would get along perfectly. They'd probably form an orchestra and travel the fucking world. That gives me the slightest feeling of consistency in life which is great.
I feel like a weird modern Betty Crocker. I'm icing a cake and looking at gay porn, if that's not an accurate portrayal of the 21st century idk what is.
I mean I made my therapist laugh so hard she cried....so yes, my life is literally a joke to everyone
If you find my integrity anywhere, please tell it to come back home
you know you should be lucky to find the case to my dildo....that means no more random guys at the house!
I gave him one of my famous hand jobs.
Randomize
