We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
But he was like 75 and lives right near mom and dad. Not a threat at all.
it's like i warped into dreamland and the only thing that makes sense is my solo cup
Omg. Budweiser tramp-stamp sighting @ Wal-mart. Best tattoo EVAR.
i would bitch about being this hungover, but honestly im just happy to be alive after this weekend
I think I'm about to have sex with a second person before noon hehehhe! You're welcome America.
Well it looked like you were having a fucking apiphany sitting at the toilet with a t shirt around your head
Last night we looked at each other with an expression of "fuck I am so done being normal", took off our shirts, and danced around in our bras
I FEEL LIKE I CAN TAKE DOWN A FULLY GROWN MOUNTAIN LION WITH ONLY A POINTY STICK OH MY GOD
Ugh. I guess I'm crying loudly or something. My mom just came in and gave me milk, chocolate, a Xanax, and her weed "for the break up blues". Her ways of affection are so odd.
I tried to twerk on a barn in 3 inch heels at a party last night and nose dived into mud. These were all new friends. I'm probably not allowed back. Cool.
When i said i was brazilian i swear to god he started to tear up
Surprise court date day!!! Wake the fuck up!
He played with my nipples while singing "How great thou art"
hey, i didnt think i could be this stupid either but you dont see ME getting all judgemental about it
Have you ever forgotten how to pee? I did last night. Standing in front of the urinal with dick in hand. WTF were we drinking???
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