We named our party play list daddy issues
Facebook really needs to add a bikini picture profile tab for girls, it would really save me countless amounts of time!
9 beers later and she still looks like Gary Busey.
you ever feel like there is a sober person insided you pointing and laughing....?
Why do I have flashes of a dark shed in my memory?
Because we had sex in one.
Step one go to argentina step two fuck bitches it's a simple plan really
i think dick pics are a sign of a sexual renaissance
I have a new philosophy. Fuck wearing bras, it's summertime.
What kind of scumbag goes to a baby's 1st birthday party with a black eye? This kind. Me. I'm disgraceful.
We smoked bowls and watched Cops for what seemed like hours. And yet I know I'll go back.
Shoot me. Oh my god shoot me. My moms ex "likes assholes"
To show us how offended you were you took off the right foot of your pterodactyl suit and proceeded to attack us with it.
This text constitutes a formal request for sexual congress under the terms of our Relationship Agreement.
you were walking down the sidewalk and just puked. didnt even stop or slow down and just kept going. i was so impressed i didnt even tell anyone you threw up on passing peoples shoes.
You smoked too much and passed out, didn't you?
You know me so well.
Randomize
