how am i supposed to spank it to a shakira video when she looks like she is doing the robot?
why do all the strippers look like they came from fraggle rock
the only reason why im excited to go home for break is to finally eat real fucking food and have normal bowel movements.
I love her so much that if I could have sex with her I wouldn't cuz my dick would feel out of place in such a perfect body/vagina
I wish the health center treadmills counted beers burned not calories
HE'S turngign 18teen real soon.k
There are rocks in my bed. And dirt all over my face. Explain?
I was trying to be a bartender for my boyfriend and his friends last night, but I was too drunk so I just kept bringing them ice cubes in my hand.
If you're wearing dry underwear your day is already better than mine.
I feel like it could help stop wars and begin world peace and the continents can unite for one Monday because chicken fries come back today
I need to wear something that says I would have sex with you but I'm not going to
all I got out of honors convocation is I've hooked up with a lot of smart guys
The only good thing about the sex was that he finally cracked the spot on my back that's been hurting.
What am I supposed to say? "Oh hey, I can't go out with you tonight because I can't picture myself sleeping with you and I was high and just trying to be nice when I said yes"?
It’s a prereq for med school, so I hope the professor likes blow jobs
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