This row in front of you is like duck, duck, goose - but eating disorder, eating disorder, failed eating disorder
i'm chasing tequila w mint flavored ice cream, phil's chasing it w cream cheese, bashar's chasing it w pickles...i think we all know who the winner is....
So my grandma sent me a doily for my birthday - don't ask why, I don't know. Anyways I put my bong on it, I think it actually classed up the joint.
i have more money on itunes than i do in my bank account... college.
his receeding hairline makes running into him so much less awkward. almost enjoyable actualy
I'd suck anything for a pizza right now
They were done having sex when I went to the room. They had that look on their faces.
Disappointment?
Just got physical proof that at 6 am i was running around with raw potatoes threatening to mash them on his floor. Hello, Mobile uploads
We were confused who drove until we went outside and her cupholders were torn out of the dash and laying on the ground
Get out here. Doing shots with the delivery guy. Also, the food is here
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
I think after that blow job he got the other day he'd set himself on fire if I asked.
Do you think the police would frown on me opening a psych drug pharmacy on the side? Just to dispose of my drugs without polluting the water supply! It is for the animals!
Please wake up and help me figure out how I woke up on the floor with my head under the couch
There is a moment when you wake up with a butt plug in when you question your choices in life.
There is also a moment when you wake up in a kiddie pool of jello cubes where you question what the fuck you did last night. Are you still in the attic or did you go home.
Randomize
