dats a huuuuuge bitch!
who is this????
RAWRRRR IMA PURPLE DINO
dude i'm sitting right next to you.. stop texting me
Manager just farted into the intercom. Whole place heard it. A number of people stopped everything and looked at him. Best. Night. Ever.
a chick just tried to cover her fart by sneezing. it didn't work
she told me she was pregnant in a never have i ever game
and now I know what throwing up pineapple chunks is like.
Yeah, we had those soaking in vodka for like 36 hours
outstanding.
i think i recognize dicks better than faces
Then we all started singing, "Our house, in the middle of the street. Our house, fucks a lot of freshman meat". It was magical.
as much as i want to say no i cant cause i need the trophy wife training
I'm glad we're going to catch up. too bad it's over my vagina.
I'm trying to get WebMD to diagnose me with a hangover
I try not to flex my sex appeal too much around the engineers, it's like feeding bears...always ends in disaster.
Trust me, I’ve got a sixth sense about dicks that tells me if a guy knows how to fuck and it’s tingling. You need to prove me right!
I’m not going to bang him just to confirm your Dickth Sense
The Dickth Sense!!! I love it! It’ll be our first porno!
I apparently sent an offer letter to, and then subsequently onboarded, the wrong candidate. How's your Monday?
Of course he did! You’ve seen my tits, you know he didn’t stand a chance!
Randomize
