I just spent the night with a bunch of indian guys and i wasn't attracted to a single one. Yeah i've officially become an anti-indian indian.
i jhust puked up my retainher.
3.50 mugs at the bar.
Nah man, im with an ugly chick. Im waiting til everyone's drunk enough tonight, they don't notice.
How ugly, and does she have friends?
Through a series of unfortunate circumstances, I think I just sprayed lime juice on my vagina.
On a scale of one to trashy, how is this: Got drunk, gave a guy a hand job. In the middle of the bar
I think you broke the trashy scale
At least my shower head will respect me in the morning.
Somewhere out there, someone is getting laid. And then theres me, watching Star Trek porn while my roommate plays World of Warcraft next door
I don't think the TSA agent thought getting iced while searching my bag was as funny as I did.
Is it bad that I see a party full of girls I know he has fucked as a challenge for me to be the one who ends up in his bed?
Now I'm obligated to stay and cuddle with her because the condom broke. Fuck.
My mom told me to get it out of my system now bc once I hit 30 it's not acceptable to get "white girl wasted".
I asked to see his balls for medical purposes.
He left a full handprint on my ass. He called it a "five-star review."
If you sleep with him I will stab you int the uterus with a pitchfork.
Prepare the pitchfork.
Decisions were made. The quality of them will be judged tomorrow
Randomize
