look to my right... shes dancing like she's playing dance dance revolution and her character is a retarded, drunken moose
i think i gave myself a perma-hangover. or god just hates me.
Im dancing with my grandma to Low right now at the wedding. There's no coming back from this.
i took my goldfish out of his bowl last night and put him in my bed
i was the DD for the swedish students tonight. Got paid 23 dollars for driving 10 miles. gotta love ignorance and the confusion conversion brings.
We were confused who drove until we went outside and her cupholders were torn out of the dash and laying on the ground
I'm doing this for my boobs. They miss him.
Only you would get a date out of getting hit by a car
I AM HAVING A WEIRD OUT OF BODY EXPERIENCE. IN CAPS LOCK.
I am undressing in in n out. They migit ca5l security. Are you provn d6 me?
OH MY GOD. SO PROUD.
My goal for break? Fuck all my exes in reverse order.
You can't text people with drinkers' regret at 8 in the morning. It's just bad form.
Yup on the verge of buzzed and drunk. I managed to make my way into my cat's box house to fall asleep. I'm comfortable
I love standing in line at rite aid for 10 minutes being forced to talk to my ex's mom about life while I'm holding nothing but yeast infection cream
Is it normal for a guy to send you a dick pic along with “He misses you”
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