I'm home now. bring me food and boobies
the worst part of it wasnt him peeing on the xbox. it was when he showed me his penis and made a kissy face at me. THAT was painful.
I'm full of awesome ideas
Yesss you are. Im full of confusion. I keep finding peanut butter on my legs...
This from the guy I found eating salad out of a pot lid in his boxers on his porch last night.
I feel the need to send all my exes pictures of penises larger than theirs. Because they all must suffer.
And is it bad that I haven't talked to guys who I haven't already dated? I feel like a recycle bin.
And then, I saw the prophecy come to fruition. It was the Dick of Destiny.
It's gay pride, I'm in my EMT uniform getting more girls than your straight ass ever will..
I rammed pretzels and Jell-O shots down the throats of those I loved.
We spent 45 minutes searching the crevices of our friend's car with a pair of tweezers trying to find the acid that we dropped
That's really the only reason I'm dating you, the prospect that I might get bacon
ayo
its like you know when i get waxed
If it makes u feel any better my dick feels pretty tender dude
Grandma is high again and locked herself in the house
If you wake up, and some of your hair is singed off, it probably has something to do with the lit cigarette you put in your hair. You said it could double as a bobby pin...?
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