my weekend in 10 words or less: hot friend of a friend, open bar, beach house, sore. In that order too.
im officially scared..,i finally realized who my boyfriend reminds me of! spencer pratt
I wonder what it would be like to masturbate in space
I had to throw up. it was the only way to avoid kissing her after she swallowed..
Using 'equal to a modern day cock block" in term paper, inappropriate
i mean, i stole her boyfriend and beat her snake score on facebook within 48 hours. not her week.
you made sure you came back for your bottle of vodka but didn't remember to take your shoes
You'd be surprised how many calories hedonism burns.
I just flicked a lizard out of the window with a bud light in one hand and spatula inthe other...dont tell me you dont miss the south
I just remembered something. Did we really all flash the cab driver to get half off?
THERE IS AN ENORMOUS FAT WOMAN EYEING MY FLIGHT'S GATE LIKE IT WOULD BE DELICIOUS TO EAT.
She found the planted magnum condom..once she figured it out it was too late.
Mom just told me I need to start having sex.
lets start a news segment called WHY IS LEOS CROTCH BURNING TODAY
Apparently stoned me thought eating chips in the shower was a good idea.
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