Down for casual relationships, more fun than catholic missionary, bring condoms and don't get attached.
If I banged a coworker last night but didn't enjoy it can I put it down on my timesheet?
You kept tellin the cashier that this order was "To Go" over and over...even tho we were in the drive-thru
I woke up with his wallet, but not him. Gold-digging at it's finest.
just when i thought i had forgotten how badthe sex was he comes across campus solely to say hi
Thank god for makeup because it looks like someone took a shit on my face
Also, upon examining the photos, I have concluded that you were the sloppiest drunk girl of the night. And that's saying something considering Hurricane Jessica was in town.
The only excuse this guy at the club had for trying to make out with me as soon as I met him was "I AM FROM MEXICOOO"
Just turned down sex because it's a holy day of obligation, my mom would be proud.
Her delivery came. She's ordered a pack of 144 condoms.
your life is not complete until you watch a gaggle of murderous clowns dance to gangnam style.
also, what is the correct term for a shit ton of clowns?
it was like teleporting. everytime i opened my eyes, i was somewhere different... usually the floor.
I have alotted at least an hour for ugly crying.
I want to respect them as people, but really I just want to have sex with them.
My neighbour just came round to ask why we posted a spatula through his door at 3am. What do I tell him??
Randomize
