dude, despite what happened last night, I'm not gay
You smell like stripper and shame
So then I sent a pic msg of the Magnum XL box to her friend
maybe i get so drunk and make stupid mistakes cuz Subconsiously im preparing for my real world debut
found a naked boy completely buried under a pile of her clothes and terrified...she says she was "saving him for later"
Dude, if she brings up the lube, you know nothing
French fry pizza
Are you brilliant or just really high?
Can't it be both?
Fuck edible panties there is a dress made out of bacon
Stoned in some guys basement listening to ELO. it's like its 1978.
my make-up looks really good tonight. I swear it had nothing to do with me finishing all of your strawberry vodka.
Trying not to look at her chest is like trying to not hear a fire engine racing by.
I be dancing. See you soon. You can drink tequila from my pants.
smoked four grams out of a bong with a mixture of pool water and white rum. I applaud you for leaving before losing too many brain cells.
When you have to have Siri remind you that you're on your period cuz you're so drunk you keep forgetting about tampons it might be time to call it a night.
Stand and applaud for me. I have successfully masturbated in a Walmart changing room with the door wide open during normal business hours. I lead a very Charmed Life.
Randomize
