Only a mothe r could love this liver
I feel dirty and I went home alone. Bars should be like airlines and make fat girls pay double for everything.
He looks like Spencer from the game Dreamphone
Leave Me Alone
At least least me cry on your voice mail
i can't tell if you're serious or not, but 420 is gonna be pirate themed
I heard about the break up and if you need a place to stay my vagina is open for you 24/7
I smell like gasoline and adventure.
yolo... Doesn't that stand for 'shut the fuck up'?
nothing like walking in the house at 3 am in my panties and a sheer shirt carrying a life sized cardboard dale earnhardt jr
I'm not sure what step "make amends" is, but my phone is on
I'm so cold without your freakishly high body temperature
that's the equivalent to a normal girlfriends. 'I miss you' btw
It's 5am and I have yet to fall asleep. At what point do we just accept that I run on vodka?
Just woke up. Will be over soon. DON'T LEAVE THE CHAMPAGNE UNSUPERVISED.
Just had a threesome with a married couple.
Stop living my dream.
Nice. Ask if they watched saved by the bell. yes=legal. No=jailbait
Randomize
