I'm convinced her vagina is similar to chernobyl, but I want to visit it for the novelty value anyway.
worst hand job ever. my dick is about as raw as that sushi your mom wanted me to try.
Just caught my bro jerking off to a lane Bryant catalog
i'm so sad bro, I can't get any pussy. I'm so sad
Also, the drinking age in Japan is 20. At what point in the sky am I allowed to start downing alcohol?
As the night goes on these shots are getting so much easier. My liver jst needed a warmup lap.
The police report said that there were 25 cases of bud light, two hookers fighting in the street, 13 cop cars, and two road blocks, a kid got tazered, another got maced, and over a hundred people in the house
So that means its a bad thing that your dad found it huh?
When he was fat he reminded me of my high school best friend and I just wanted to hug him and hug him. Also, he's funny and humor is the fastest way into my pants after Doctor Who and liquor.
Lets watch game of thrones and have sex every time someone is naked. It'll be like a drinking game but better.
The thing about being single is like Sunday morning sex is nice but so is Sunday morning eating Nutella from the jar in your underwear
I know. His dick was small at the top and got bigger at the bottom, like a fucking curling wand.
Im not sure if the cops that just came are strippers or actually cops
So, I've discovered that I'm approximately 70% nicer to my mother when I've had an orgasm in the last 48 hours. It's science.
Uhmmmm is there really any way to tactfully ask "you into me jerking you off with my feet... or nah" cause if you find one let me know 😂
I swear I'm going to walk in one day with you in a ballgag just masturbating feverishly
Well i can't stand the sound of my own crying
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