So why didn't Edward and the Cullens just kill Hitler?
You need to stop watching Twilight.
In my defense it was my birthday and I really wanted to do it.
I didn't wanna be that girl that took a shit in the ocean..
Stayed out til 7 am.... Did u know there's a guy who goes up and down the quad at that hour playing bagpipes?
I didn't even have time to sit down and the nurse was like: ''You've been having unprotected sex.'' HOW DOES SHE KNOW?!?
He smells so good today
Seriously, back away from the sexual harrasment suit.
found out that hot proper business chick in my class A) did a bar crawl last 2 night and still showed up to class and B) is 19 and C) so not as proper as I thought D) is single. How the fuck does that work? Freaking superwoman.
All I need right now is some mouthwash, dignity, and security camera footage...
I need a straight guy to pretend to be my boyfriend for 30 minutes so that I can pull off an act of petty vengeance. Interested?
People dont know what to do when a naked fat guy is running towards them. they panic
It'll be a romanticized airport meeting until I'm judged for sitting on his face in the terminal
I wrote "fuck you meg" on my toaster strudel with the icing. I call it "passive aggressive breakfast"
You got banned for life from a $30 a night motel. What are you doing with your life?
You kept apologizing to your car for talking behind its back
Basically, I am an endless fountain of unconvential sexual experiences and knowledge.
Randomize
