Loo but I'm already drunk TINIGHT! CAPS ATTACK
I'm sorry for the crack den comment. You have a lovely apartment.
but really, i care about skinny girls as much as michael vick cares about rotweilers
I hope my liver is having as much fun as I am
you made me have a moment of silence for the half of a sub sandwich that you dropped on the floor earlier
Considering the last guy I had sex with was gay, this was a huge improvement.
Is everything ok? Last time I missed your call you were being arrested.
You disappeared for 10 minutes. Then came back with nothing but your boxers and a life jacket on to tell us we were all screwed when the flood came and you would be the only survivor.
I almost don't wanna have sex with her because I'm afraid she'll steal my hat
last night i fell off a barstool and busted my nose. i can regretfully say that i didn't see cherub last night.
For someone who wanted a break I'm getting way to much dick
it's a rainbow of FUCK YOU
We couldn't leave for the bar until he spent 10 minutes adjusting his vaporizer. I want to drown him in beard oil.
My vagina still hurts from yesterday. That's the last time I think riding a mop bucket is a good idea. Don't let me do that again
I'm not gonna lie. I need sex like plants need water right now. I just need the dick.
Randomize
