Reasons why i shouldn't be drunk and upset: i'm going to a boy's
we should go somewhere reaaaaaal shady
u sent me just one boob. one just doesnt do it for me. u dont get full on a half a rack of ribs u need a full one
im dirt poor will suck dick for halloween costume
In other news I saw a pack of make believe zombies walking down green st.
gotta love wednesdays
Internet sex stories have completely ruined the word sopping for me.
New policy: when a woman uses the word blowjob in a sentence within 5 minutes of meeting her, you buy her a drink.
I really want to title the album "I want to make sex with your face" but I also want a job someday. Temptations, temptations.
3 months til "no sober october" start prepping now. i cant have you bitch out on me halfway through like last year.
We should tie ourselves together anytime there is any type of alcohol involved. It's the safest way. I either end up with freshmen or weird ex bfs. You end up with a large cowboy. This is not good for us
I apparently insisted on hugging all the bushes and apologizing for pollution on the way home.
By the way if you come home and I'm not wearing pants, just go with it. I didn't have the energy to go searching for some.
Burnt food and a broken vibrator. Disappointment after disappointment. Is April a man?
Whatever douche. I sucked the dick that made you. I. Win.
I really want to stop getting this drunk. I've got the Sunday scaries and it's only Saturday
Randomize
