I totally give up. Optimus Prime just fell from the top of the Great Pyramid into the hypostyle hall at Karnak.
Its sad we have to plan out fun a month in advance. 30 sucks.
just apologized to a random stranger while waiting in line for coffee. last night was that drunk
we need to stop having unprotected sex.
ya i know. we're like the secret life of the american whores.
well someone pooped in the lint basket in the laundry room last night, but none of us will admit to it so we're all just secretly judging each other and doubting ourselves.
Also I'd like you to set a calendar reminder that goes off every day for you to take 2 minutes to think about what your life would be like without me.
I'm glad we're going to catch up. too bad it's over my vagina.
sometimes after I smoke and the high has gone away...the high will come back like three hours later for a brief yet gripping ride.
that's usually when I end up in someone's house, having sex with someone else, while that someone's roommate makes us mozzarella sticks.
you were trying to convince me that you weren't drunk by grabbing my shoulders, looking deeply into my eyes and saying "i can see your sparkle"
I've got mace and a condom. Ready to roll either way and keeping my pimp hand strong.
He is always putting motivational shit on FB. So its like i know hes sad lonely and looking at internet porn. Break up winning
Right when he asked me if I was on birth control my dad walked in. This is my fate.
What was my myspace song when I went away to rehab?
Everythings in imax form. Space oddessys are formed. Adventure at every moment and everything is epic. My mouth hass lemons. Yum.
Cat needed to get out last night. Walking to the door was too much effort so I encouraged (pushed) him to leave via window.
Isn't your room on the second floor?
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