You can't have hate sex in a hallway!!
you know that dress I got margarita and puke on? yeah, just returned it.
She never called back. Financed a fleshlight.
Ah, I knew it wouldn't be long before my boobs were introduced into the conversation.
i just complicated the hell out of my summer by fucking him this early on
Are you in a cab?
I'm close- can you order me a bowl of vodka?
I never should have let my cousin and his pregnant girlfriend move in with me. I'm never having sex again. They scare off men more than 'my dream wedding' pin board.
Woke up on the stairs at my parents house. Good start to vacation.
I screamed so bad because I thought he was going for my sandwich forgetting it was in my hand
That was awkward , having sex with her while her husband watched via Skype. I'm a porn star or a target. Idk
STOP HOOKING UP WITH SOCCER MOMS! YOU ARE RUINING MY REPUTATION!
If that guy asks u bout me, I said my name is Jenelle, from CT, I'm a cat behiavor consultant and I'm 29. Back my story up
I would throw a dart into the Olympic ceremony and fuck whoever it hit
I just split a tacobell party box with my boss. 12 tacos. We were equals for a moment.
How do you explain to your parents that you can't go to the library because you got banned for being drunk in there... on a Sunday afternoon?
That's $100,000 of quality education right there.
Randomize
