Trying not to fart in the comp lab is going to take everything i've got.
I like when I have the chance to say normal things like 'I know her from college' vs 'I did a ton of blow with her one night at Studio B.'
One girl peed the bed, one lost her panties, another woke up on the piano, I have pink eye and door knobs are missing. This is why I stay in Nebraska
mom brought her knitting needles with her. its bad enough to be in the ER on new years, but to be with the knitting parent!?
EVERYONE CAN HEAR YOU FUCKING YOU ARE IN A TENT
Home. Barefoot. Drunk. Crying. Puked. Brushed teeth. Washed face. Dying. Need Cuddle.
I have so much shit FLYING through my head. They're all in magic carpets and everything
My feelings are currently in a sea of vodka and "I don't give a shit"
Aren't they always?
Good news. I heard back from the doctor and I don't have a liver problem.
...yet.
What are you doing? Because if it happens to be drinking, or even any activity that rhymes with "drinking", I'll be over in 5.
Wait. Did you let me snort wine last night cause I wanted to smell jesus's blood?
Yes. I have pictures. Your soul is mine.
so it turns out the huge bruises on my knees are from drunk bmxing and not getting railed from behind on the ground
and ill have you know that I only wiped out twice
Let's get the cat blown out
I'm currently drunk proofing my room
I'm hungover from the 8pm vodka and still drunk from the 5am beer.
Randomize
