My hair reeks of homosexuality.
it sucked. he totally couldn't get it up. blamed it on never having cheated b4. Couldn't stop laughing. fuck.
All my problems are solved. I just got McDonalds and scratch off lottery tickets.
I watched the entire movie Forgetting Sarah Marshall before I realized it was in Spanish.
remember that response paper i wrote naked, at 745am still drunk with a naked dude in my bed? yeah, totally got an a- on that. and he loved my insight.
I think I'm still fucked. I can see the electricty going through the street car lines
Get your penis over here NOW. emergency
You know, having a conversation evolve from attractive men to roommate orgies would be weird with anyone else, but you get me.
Okay so for future reference and your own safety I should probably tell you that it is not cranberry juice in that bottle on the kitchen table.
get ready to load up the weird cannon and blow a load of buck-wildness all over the place people
Thats not real though. Slash there are other extenuating circumstances to lead me to believe dick is wanted
HOLY FUCK I SPELLED EXTENUATING RIGHT ON THE FIRST TRY. IM THE BEST DRUNK NA
Tell me not to drink and get on ladders. I think I need the reminder.. I'm clumsy enough sober.
I think it might be the guy sitting next to me. I've concluded he HAS to be smuggling insane amounts of onions in his wardrobe to smell like that
Who the fresh hell put 2 pillows a raincoat and a guitar on top of me to keep me warm last night
that is very illegal...i love you.
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