What happened at the top of the stairs is never to be spoken of again.
disregard all texts ive sent you minus taco motherfucking bell
Chasing 100 proof soco w water from the tap at 4 pm, it's gonna one of those kinda Thursdays...
He did plead exhaustion. And I made him push through it. I am like the motherfucking badass football coach of sex.
Alright, who started the "how long till dereck gets deported from Australia" pool? I want in on that.
We decided it was acceptable to walk out of class on a quest for Doritos. That high.
You leaned over so she could squirt ketchup in your hair and then started chanting "KETCHUP NIGHT!! KETCHUP NIGHT!!!"
Can you technically cross something off your bucket list if you don't, per say, remember it....?
she pointed to my dick and said you are going to save the world
Both of us came out of our rooms at the same time in boxers and sat on the couch. No words were spoken.
He seems like a lot more than a waste of tequila
He said that we couldn't refer to each other as brother and sister anymore cuz we were in no way related and he would love nothing more than to get naked with me.
I remember turning to Jon after doing a line of coke and saying "I was a Girl Scout"
We made a blanket fort in my dorm room and fucked in it. Twice. I'm in love.
Get your heels and tits on! I’m not wasting a Brazilian because his fucking kid ate paste or Legos and ruined an afternoon suite sex and room service
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