I have a feeling that after last night, i'm not just going to hell. i'm going to hell on a full scholarship. free admission bitches
I just had sex in the back of an ambulance. Call me.
Just fucked in his moms tanning bed. While it was on. Weirdest. Tan. Ever.
I'm just trying to jam my tits into some coconuts and I'll be on my way
Dude I broke my bong in half this morning. I kicked it as I was jerking off. I would never hide anything from you.
The main two things I remember from last night is you "spanking Katey into reality" and watching her barf in terror.
I think we should bring back the casual nipple tassel
Is tonight a drink a little and reminisce kinda night, or a drink everything and pray kinda night?
I've come to the conclusion that the dicks in Arizona just don't have enough size for me.
You have a roommate and cry when you see my dick
And that facial hair. He might as well shave it so it spells "douche" on one cheek and "nozzle" on the other.
Just learned a valuable lesson today. Don't open snap chats from 3 am the next morning while sitting next to a small child. They totally saw your dick.
He makes balloon animals that get you high? Hell yeah invite him over!
How does it make you feel that I can't control my vagina around you?
Then it hit me - his penis wasn't a shiny new toy anymore and I wanted a new one.
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