she calls it her "sourpuss" because everyone makes that face when they see it.
I just chugged a whole pitcher of beer in 1 min. 9 sec. A whole goddamn pitcher.
My 54 year old father just sent me a YouTube link on my school email titled "Walrus sucks his own dick" and then wrote in the email "I wish I were a walrus". What the fuck is wrong with my family?
I think I just puked all over my comforter and my roomdmate won't wakt up to washc it for me
It was her first time with a girl so I put on my tegan and Sara playlist to really get the full experience.
she asked to have her picture taken with every guy we walked by.
A guy at one of our big accounts just said you probably dont remember meeting me saturday night ps you were right about those two girls being lesbian
Would it be out of line to take a picture of all the earrings, rings, hairclips, and other miscellaneous girl items that I found under my bed and post it on facebook and tag all the girls that I slept with this year so they can claim their shit and get it out of my house?
Bring one of those heart stabber things in case you go into shock. I'll jab you.
My boob is missing a layer of skin
Don't forget Giraffe in your car! If we show up in the same outfit without animal heads we're just gonna look weird.
I think he knows I took a picture of him. Why I don't get punched in the face more often is anyone's guess.
2017 is gonna be explosive... Already watching fireworks out the window while shit my brains out. Happy Ew Year
He walked into me masturbating to a framed picture of Bill Murray riding a t-rex
I came and sneezed at the same time. Words can't describe how awesome it was.
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