Disadvantage of being gay..... my gag reflexes makes trying to make myself throw up extremely difficult.
I spent all night sexting your girlfriend for you because you were too drunk. You're welcome.
Shit sorry. Maybe I wont give you this sweet ass fanny pack I found in my parents attic
I have teeth marks. Like distinct upper and lower jaw.
Yeah me too. My shoulder looks rabid.
It's amazing the difference a day and 2000 mg of antibiotic make. Nine days to go.
Honestly, I don't care if the only reason she gave me her beer was because she was bisexual and wanted to touch my vagina. Beer is beer.
Paying 5 grand for boobs is saving me like 10 grand in weed
Never ever ever ever ever ever give your number to a 30 year old at buffalo wild wings. Ever ever ever.
I just very easily got pretty high off of one bowl of shitty dirt weed. I'm a sad excuse for who I used to be.
I'm almost positive that you shat in a birdhouse
totally just stole a 24 pack straight out of the miller truck
sexting foreigners is the best. they respond with silly things like "love that tits"
It's election day and I was just tied up with an American flag scarf
I just saw a chick driving drinking a juice box smoking all while on the phone that is talent
I could be doing way worse things besides texting him 'come over and bang my headache away'. i could be on meth
Randomize
