I almost hooked up with this girl last night. she had a tattoo of a cardinal next to her cooter. said it reminded her of her grandpa
Just so you know, the bottle of red gatorade is NOT GATORADE. It is definitely someone's puke. I hope nobody else makes the same mistake I did.
i no longer even have beer goggles. i'm pretty sure i blacked out and had beer lasik.
it's amazing how much more room there is in my purse when I'm not carrying alcohol in it
I wish i could be on x for the rest of my life.
What's the big deal? you guys fuck
3 times is my limit. I don't even want to know you exist after 3 times
RIGHT?!?! I'M ACTUALLY UPSET I DON'T GET TO MAKE THE 2.3 MILE TREK TO SUCK HIS COCK, yes I google earthed it.
i could have been the DD. this is ridiculous. i'm the most sober and getting the least ass.
The bachelor party was supposed to stay local but I think were in mexico.
why is there a wheelchair in the hall and why does it look like we banged in it?
Talking to a customer about getting high and staring at glow in the dark wheels while there is a cop in the store. Just another day in Tampa
Casually blacked out last night and apparently told him he couldn't come back to bed until he got me Taco Bell.
Listen, I booty called my boss last night from the company phone. I may need to brush up my resume.
i think i passed out for a few seconds while we were having sex but he didnt notice...
Just sold my panties for 40 bucks to some rando dude at the gay bar. I think I found a way to fund next years spring break trip. Hello cancun!
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