dude you made out with his girlfriend and stole his credit card to buy more drinks
well when you put it that way, I sound like a terrible person
I woke up because I was nodding to the dream question of "would you like a sombrero?"
I'd rather say I'm a whore then admit it's his child. Its that bad.
I dont know if you relize this but ive been high ly medicated in my room for a whil now. GOing out into the real world would make me li ke tom ha nks. im not ready to be tom hanks..
So he was supposed to be helping me with my math but instead we ended up drinking coconut rum in his basement and having sex. I think my mom was right, getting a tutor will be good for me. Relieves the stress.
Now I know he's not trying to fuck me. He took me to lunch at White Castle.
Oh I love our desires, it's riding my bike at 2 AM with a massive erection that I dislike.
I can't. Currently naked covered in Nair trying desperately to catch his cat that rubbed up on my leg.
I hate that cat.
My car has a permanent smell of sex to it now.
I'm at the back whiskey bar with a 7 and 7 in a winnie the pooh costume. Come find me.
We are literally scheduling phone sex... if that's not long distance af then i don't know what is
I had such a bad bruise on my knees from blowing him so much, he asked if he could sign it...
Found someone cuddling with my Uggs this morning. Guess the hundred pillows laying next to him weren't good enough.
i don't think the phrases "so shitty" & "taking care of my newborn" should be combined in the same sentence. leave it to her to make it possible eh?
Is it wrong to want to use the Dark Web to buy Vyvance for legitimate purposes?
Randomize
