I just took went to the bathroom and it smelt like blue curococo... I didn't flush yet so head on up if you wanna know what a good night smells like.
we hotboxed my bathroom. with nine people and two dogs.
Do you ever just look at me and get embarrassed?
okay, please tell me Cammy is the one who put the picture and note on my desk saying "beat off to this homeboy"
We were on the balcony tossing jello shots to people passing below
When people said no i'd yell "i tried them i promise they aren't roofied!"
He's. Duct. Taping. His. Phone. To. The. Wall.
That's the point of day drinking, get fucked up by 6pm so you can get stuff done the next day. It's the adult thing to do.
I had this image of some guy in a taco truck down by the IMA accosting you for a peep show.
Did you hear me? I HAVE THE CONTENTS OF AN NBA PLAYER'S CONDOM IN MY BEDROOM TRASHCAN!! This shit is potentially worth millions of dollars to a fertile young female who is ovulating. How do I sell it fast??
You screamed "there will be blood" and punched some random guy in the face. So no, we can't go back to that bar.
..puke & rally mid art final. HAPPY CINCO DE MAYO!
ETSY JUST SENT ME AN EMAIL WITH THE SUBJECT "SUMER ROMANCE" I'M BEYOND FUCKING DONE
My roommate taped his phone to the ceiling fan to simulate walking so he could hatch Pokémon. Lazy people will always find a way.
I just dropped a chicken nugget on the floor and seriously prayed that it would be ok....I think this job is making me crazy.
I'm fairly sure I accidentally saw my dad naked last night
Randomize
