:O -> O: ... that's emoticon for "he threw up in my mouth while we were making out"
Did you really end last night's sexting with "Stay thirsty my friend"?
On the couch having a debate with the dog over whether eating anothr sweet roll will make the hangover better or worse
I've learned something. I regret way too may Tuesdays in my life to be normal
My middle name is suave and my vagina shoots rainbows, what else would you expect?
You said that we all need to "head out like a boner through sweatpants and get fucked." Jager night was a success.
the bruises from climbing out of the window last night make sitting at my desk impossible. legit excuse to not study right?
Well at least the house will be decorated when u get evicted.
Try explaining "the nature of your relationship" to a cop when your fuck buddy vandalized your car. Priceless.
Can we make 2014 the year of no unsolicited dick pics?
showering high made me realize that i should seriously reconsider my career path... id be a damn good hair shampooer & head massager
I mean seriously with your cock and my tits combined we could rule the world. Pinky and the brain style
god i just can't wait for finals to end so i can just masturbate all day and night
You need to stop leading guys on at bars - you're a lesbian.
And now I'm a lesbian with better self-esteem.
Bowls and Harry Potter this morning. I guess work isn't so bad after all
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