I'm not saying he was bad at sex, but I'm pretty sure I anti-climaxed.
He's a firefighter, who has his own band. I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
the cops didnt even wait to start drinking the confiscated alchohol from the party
Did we have sex last night or did we just wake up naked covered in oil?
I almost got away with it until she smelled beer on the stroller.
I was just told that i'm a premature cuddler. . . What does that even mean?
Whatever it is you failed
I wish there were birth control emojis
He told me the color of his piss. Worst. First date. Ever.
Just thought you should know, Im with josh now. Im no longer available for rent. I have a full time tenant now. Like, a year long lease at least.
I ripped my favorite jeans crossing that fence
That sucks
It's an upgrade! I didn;t even have to unzip my pants to pee!
He just sent me the contact information about getting the Zebra for graduation...
you said something about joining a k-pop band before passing out topless on the trampoline.
Dick very happy bro
Come eat Chinese buffet and watch us trip on acid. It'll be fun.
Like I just wanted some midlife crisis fun, not drama as big as his dick.
Randomize
