It was like a mary poppins bag, except a sexual mary poppins bag.
it always starts out as a suggestion then three hours later I have cum in my eye.
If they ask for a stool sample we r no longer friends.
It says i should accept HIV aids as my friend on facebook.We have 12 friends in common. I need new friends.
Never have I ever before welcomed her period with such enthusiasm. She was starting to pick out baby names. She got me "What to Expect When You're Expecting."
I bet they don't have a scenario slide on how to deal with a suggested three way with counsel during harassment training.
He just slept in my bed for a couple hours and asked lots of questions about gay sex. No, I do not have his number.
complete strangers are now referring to me as 'the bourbon guy.' i can live with this.
It was the hardest I ever came in my life and once I could see straight again I just looked at him and said "cool"
Eye drops are like seatbelts of being high. Think about it
I thought 5 times was beyond my capabilities but her tongue was like a penis defibrillator. Clear!
Some male strippers are here, I threw pancakes at them. It's ok
Are we going to go home and do it or do I have time to eat my nachos bell grande first?
Well, she yelled at the stripper that she couldn't lick whipped cream off his nipples because she is lactose intolerant.
So the bar crawl I'm on is a "90s bar crawl" and I made the joke about a few overweight girls that "lack of concern for your weight is so 90s" it did not end well
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