She tried to have sex with him but he quote unquote respected her
What part of "waking up in the crawl space of my house with a raccoon" sounds like a good night to you?
My roommate was eating ketchup out of a bowl. Get me the hell out of here.
It feels like Jesse James cheated on America.
You brought out the iron board layed it on the ground in the middle of everyone and passed out for the night
I want you to come here and listen to her climax and then tell me how funny you think it is.
you're just mad cause i madeout with you while having a mouth full of chewed pretzels
Im 95% ready to shit behind 711
Front seat of an Escalade in a limo-service parking lot. That is all.
I'm sorry I did drugs then got really loud and bitchy at your party and judged your choice in one night stands.
It was just a Craigslist hook up but she wore sweats. Where are the girls with class?
I JUST WANTED TO GET SOME MOTHER FUCKING TACOS I AM SINGLE AS FUCK TACOS BRING PREOPLE TOGETHER OKAY
That was the night I realized I need to grow up and stop eating mushrooms with strange 40 year old men in convertibles.
I learned so much in Pittsburgh
He told us a story about a time his 80 year old uncle karate chopped a dick in a glory hole.
Yesterday I febreezed my bed in between gentleman callers
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