Fat chicks shouldn't bartend
Never forget that any girl can get her way if she puts her vagina on the table.
"Take a picture of me motorboating molly" was probably not my best career move
We did naked snow angels in 14 degree weather, you can't tell me you had more liquor at that party
You told him that your vagina was the "King Crab" of all vagina's.
Hate the very realistic pregnancy dreams. Like my dream when I birthed the pirate ships. SO REAL...
Yeaaah. I'm kinda wary about that guy. Does he still have that taser that he found on the train?
I basically have a picture with a half naked foreign exchange student. He kept screaming rolltide and i felt like a traitor
There's not an emojicons for I think I ripped my asshole and want to die.
You could become Eskimo brothers with my dad. How can you pass that up? You pussy.
I found a picture of me as a little kid with nothing on except a towel covering one of my nipples and I'm glaring at the camera. Literally nothing has changed except I have boobs now
I'm moving out of my place and I just gave my mom a couch that I had sex on last night. Reduce, reuse, recycle at its best.
Well you know I have tits so that's half the battle
Idk. The bad part of me thinks it's a good idea. The bad part is also the stupid part.
what a classic moment of my life. A buffet of taco bell and a taser gun.
Randomize
