so after he got his stomach pumped, he asked for a smoking room.
How much time is enough between masturbating and watching little bear?
I'm paying a homeless guy $20 to follow me around bars tonight with a boombox playing the theme to Rocky.
So not only did team sweden fail to particpate in any drinking game but i also found puke in my viking helmet this morning.
the only consolation to the fact that i puked in public today was that i did it down a storm drain... so at least i am a responsible public puker
I could really do without pictures of your asses in my inbox. That said, I'm extremely jealous that I wasn't involved.
Just called the consul general of France "dude"
I just remember looking over and seeing you on top of him and us high fiving. That's when I knew we'd be perfect roommates
Also, if asking a guy to come over and watch curling with you doesn't scream let's fuck then idk what does
I haven't seen her in probably 3 months and when she showed up wasted to my house she promptly pulled out her tit
Heat not working dressed like an eskimo. A real one with a ski sock on my junk
I’m going to try to be less of a cryptic bitch this week. Should be nice.
Just put on slippers before underwear so you know where my priorities are
"We drove to the deserted part of the parking lot, and that's where we blew each other. It was so romantic."
i passed out in front of ihop...for the second night in a row. i think i need to reevaluate my life choices
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