Hi, I just found this phone under my seat at a brewers game and seeing as you're entered in as 'fillllatio' I figured I'd ask you if you know the illiterate ass who owns this phone. Thanks :)
she handed me her phone while she blew me and told me to text her bf that she was at the store
Who would have thought google would have HELPED me fail a test...not pass...thank you pacman, thank you google....
It's cute how he thinks we're going to have sex again
Thank god i puked near the cancer center. makes me look like a chemo patient
Just got a message from a guy on a dating site who says he helped me remove lime pulp from my eye in a club toilet 2 weeks ago.
your love of good penises attached to ugly faces is disgusting and slightly disturbing.
I have reached the state of intoxication where it is now a requirement to sit while peeing.
I am not even close to finishing violently masturbating over that video.
Well it's official... The first guy I ever gave head to now holds 2 world records. Should I text him asking if I can try and break my record?
Can't keep a straight face around her after she asked me to "make fuck to her."
Is it rude to ask for an autograph after giving him a blowjob in their hotel's hot tub?
Hooking up with him was lovely.. but waking up in his bed the next morning and finding double stuffed oreos... I mean.... I won
The cashier looked at my basket, looked at me and said "That's a lot of wine." I looked at her and said "Mother in law." She nodded approvingly.
She's not allowed to do acid anymore... she started crying because she thought she was an eagle.
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