So my shaver died while I was trimming...ya know. And now it is half way done. I don't think there's currently any aesthetic in keeping it this way...
Yeah I guess I was Pocahontus. If she were a trifling drunk who hung out in her undies, with possible brain damage.
Wow, this guy is harder to get rid of than gum in pubic hair
He told me he looked up all the foods that make cum taste better and he put it all on his moms shopping list. she came through my line. this ones a keeper I think.
you have a cum towel under your bed, you're the definition of single
It's been a long time since I felt this bad on a Monday... and for that, I thank you.
Confirm for me that it's be a bad idea to sleep with the 50 year old that's currently hitting on me?
Just had a handjob preempted by a huge bolt of static electricity leaping from her fingertip to my sack. I hate this time of year.
Are you absolutely against sleeping in your car? Because i've done that before.
my head feels like a yellow yolk spinning in a circle at the bottom of the bowl.. i may have a concussion, love auto correct
As much as I enjoyed playing drunk half naked twister and talking about my daddy issues last time, I'll have to pass.
How do I tell my hairdresser I want a hair style I saw in a porn video?
If you think hives from an allergic reaction to lube is funny, remind me to tell you the story about how I got a black eye from masturbating.
I'm sorry I told you to go fuck yourself after you said good morning to me when I was hungover.
Have you ever realized how weird it is to think that you've fucked someone and don't know what their handwriting looks like?
Randomize
