I prefer the term 'tenderly watching'
such a stalker...
she wanted to love me. she just didn't know it yet.
That's intense
you passed out when you kept trying to hold your breath during the underwater scenes of 2012
Normal people don't sit around and watch Degrassi for twelve hours...
FUCK YOU.
I woke up naked this morning there was a baseball bat on the floor the bathroom door knob was removed and the floor was wet. This is why i don't do Tequila shots.
The only way i can get arrested is public drunkenness or defacing a national monument. Trust me, i have already looked it up.
I hope it's the birth control, otherwise I'm dying
Lets just say that a certain piercing set off certain alarms when I went thru the airport detector/scanner thingie. David was high fived like 12 times.
I may have to marry her. She is smarter than me and has a six figure job and doesn't want to have kids. All I have to be is a trophy husband.
You couldn't remember her number so you tried to dial her name into your phone. Once you realized you didn't know her name, you dialed 7 random numbers
you told the police officer you wanted to be just like her one day but not a lesbian
Aaaand the winner of the worst decision of Sunday night goes to me as I pull up to his house in my lingerie.
I put the area codes from ludacris' "area codes" into our expensive data visualization software at work, it's been a productive day
fuck sobriety. I want to wake up tomorrow in a park or some shit.
WE JUST PASSED A FUCKING SPACE SHIP! NOT JOKING! A REAL FUCKING SPACE SHIP! THIS IS NOT THE DRUGS! SPACE! SHIP!
Randomize
