ugly people sure do ruin things
got a scholarship and a hot psych teacher. hello spring 2010
A true measure of a good friend is how long she responds to her friends drunken illogical texts. Youre a champ.
You high fived me for banging your sister but lock me outta house bc I ate your pumpkin pie? Priorities bro
Somebody left a mini pitcher in the bathroom. Think its safe?
It looks like sephora exploded on his dick, so i assumed I was the second girl that gave him head that night.
Hangover Status: I've been bedridden longer than that kid from The Secret Garden. It's not looking good.
Yeah, but he has adorable dimples and dimples talk me into things.
I feel like every time I get the courage to masturbate to a guy from Game of Thrones, they kill him off.
My life is literally the worst. I was just laughing so hard at how hot they looked feeding each other the brownies and then I was like DON'T CRY
I've never heard "I will drown your mother in vanilla pudding" as an insult before, and then last night happened.
Idk I was embarrassed that I hit it too hard so I played it off by spitting out bong water like a 'whales blowhole'
I hate drunk me more than anyone else in this world
I'm sad about how hungover I'm gonna feel tomorrow.
I was christened with Fireball shots by some guy at the bar. I'm practically Jesus now.
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