Tell your broad to take a big shot of 'chill the fuck out' and put it on my tab.
...i apologize for hitting you up so much tonight im just kinda in a little pickle. im going to sleep in my car near u so pretty plz lmk if you head home...
Maybe I lied like you did about your herpes.
I need a leather bustier to keep them in.
Too kinky for 11:30am. Stop that.
my dad brought home flowers.. so i started talking to them
You should have been there to see the look on her face when I told her that my dog gives better head than her. It was a beautiful symphony of shock, anger, and disbelief.
I come up with the best drinking games while babysitting
I think the best part was when you jumped over me naked.
I went on my dinner date pretending that my lunch date didn't jizz in my hair.
I texted him 3 days ago he said he was pre gaming for the Super Bowl today he just text" gtomajg kaka hee 48!!!"
His legs actually look hot in that dress. He might even make a better girl than Josh
Are there any rules against fucking the hot TA?
Maybe for her....
Her problem, not mine
It may be a clusterfuck, but I'll be looking classy as shit as I watch the nightmare unfold
My debit card was between my ass cheeks when i woke up. i vaguely remember putting it there for safe keeping
eating a weed cupcake with nutella on top at work. i AM a star!
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