Don't cheat on me with the blonde bimbo religi freak
I wouldn't touch her with a ten foot pole
She's blonde
yeah she was being a bitch. do you remember me stealing ryan cabrerra's beer?!?!
You dont remember anything at all? So you dont remember the shop down my road with the 'TO LET' sign over it? You were adamant that the 'I' had fallen off and that it used to say TOILET...so you took a shit right there in the doorway.
I had fun last night. We should have sex less often.
At what number of girls whose last names are stored in your phone book as drinking establishments does it become excessive?
Everyone makes mistakes, yours just means you will forever be known as the chick that tried to steal a cheese plate from the funeral.
he told me he was a chubby chaser.. then winked. i'm signing up for a gym pass as we speak
sitting on my lesbian neighbors couch, sexting, & eating a burrito.. that single
He came in both my eyes, then refused to give me a towel unless I found him by playing Marco Polo
dude he passed out in the strip club on his birthday, WHILE he was getting a lap dance. That drunk.
I do remember that in my dream I wasn't impressed with his dick.
Peeing in taco bell cups is part of the fun of going to taco bell
He asked if I was a pirate because my "arrrrrrrrse" was worth burying. 10/10 for effort, 20/10 for serial killer vibes.
There's a dude wearing a banana suit at the house across the street....
I will bring Jesus to court if he punishes me for that
Randomize
