I am pretty sure the guy in the stall two dwn from me is jerking it...seriously
i threw up in a trash can last night at kellys irish times. but in a trash can because i'm a lady
just so you know, the whole club saw your tits last night. and booed.
I just spent the last hour spooning with my drug dealer.
i'm sending her a home depot gift card for the hole i put in her wall. call it good?
I'm a terrible person. There are two guys speaking sign language on the metro platform and at first I thought they were drunk and doing a silly dance.
Please, do not let 'babydaddy' catch on as your petname for me.
just saw a girl who had one of those monogrammed backpacks... her initials are VAG. is this a sign?
i'm not sure if i'm mentally prepared for this.. politeness? proper grammar? book reader ? this is a whole new meaning of the species penis for me.
cheating on your boyfriend is the best diet ever, I've barely eaten in days. The guilt is killing me
I just opened a bottle of wine with a shoe and a tube of mascara. Get on my level
We play this game where we catch up on what we missed over five years of not talking to eachother, then we have sex like nothing ever happened.
Basically taped my dick down because it's too obvious in this costume...
Really though. It's your life, live it how you want
And I do mostly. Which is why I'm now drunk in my room writing erotica
Thanks for having me over last night. Sorry I licked rum off your kitchen floor.
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