why does he think he needs to feed/take me out to get some ass? we are at a bar wasting my fucking time
he put listerine on his cock to make the taste more "enjoyable"... i think hes a keeper.
I feel I should make it clear.....I'm not stalking you, I'm stalking ur dick. You don't even need to talk when you get here. At 4am I think we'd both prefer that anyway.
i think when the guy sitting in the corner singing tells you you're too drunk, you're too drunk.
YOU NEED TO STOP BLOWING DUDES ON MY COUCH AT MY PARTIES
YOU NEED TO STOP PROVIDING TEQUILA AT YOUR PARTIES
I'm turning twenty & the only honorable way to exit my teens is by slapping the fuck outta the bag. You better be in.
There is no way to say this. Dude, I peed your bed. No questions, no answers. My flight leaves in 30 minutes. Use my detergent. Also, THE VODKA IN THE FRIDGE IS YOURS.
I just got a text from a guy. The python is ours if we want.
I woke up in a cornfield to shouting, a bottle of Jim Beam, and a bunch of mc muffins. If this doesn't scream Illinois, idk what does.
Orgasms and cereal.... that's what life's about.
I just need to find someone whose kink is financial submission.
Why can't you just be normal and get dick pics from your exes like everyone else?
Well I hate to admit it but at this point I can successfully say i have been pee'd on by both of my roommates.
No, Ethan, handcuffs and friendship bracelets are not "basically" the same thing.
His dog hid my thong. Let me tell you, the last thing you want during a commando mini skirt walk of shame is lots of wind. There’s a church congregation that knows all my business
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