remember that night we drank a bottle of vodka and went to mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu, twice?
we can't do that now- first b/c they got rid of that menu and 2 b/c we are broke now. damn this recession.
I'm also annoyed at my horoscope for not warning me of my perils
after giving each other head, we had a really nice post-oral heart to heart. found out he lost his virginity in a threesome.
would he be offended if i told him that "national coming out day" is october 11. thats subtle enough right?
Whoever decided it was a good idea to sell 40's at a bar with life-sized jenga deserves a nobel prize.
I planned on emotionally scarring him for life this weekend. DAMN YOU PERIOD!
Everyone is now just referring to it as "the night Hannah couldn't get laid" so needless to say you didn't miss much
can we just punch him in the dick and call it a victory for feminism
I threw up in a flower pot outside the bar last night and have a date tonight....I think I missed something
he showed me his third nipple on the first date. I might have low to no standards, but my god.
Tell him to put up or shut up. Can't be dangling dick in front of ho's without delivering.
It's just disrespectful
I always can't wait to see you but when there's also an opportunity to get naked it elevates to an entirely different level
I just realized I have a habit of pre gaming for therapy visits. Problem?
We'll discuss it when you get here
welp,tonight ive reached new levels. by new levels I mean,i showed some guys my boobs for water. on your tab.. the most pointless thing ive ever done. either we should hang out way more,or never again.
Man, I'm never going tanning again he noticed the burns on my ass
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