If you're ever in Seattle we should Fuck. Or get coffee, whatever.
I just tried to pee in a pad to see if it was like a diaper. it's not.
I totally need to blow more fat guys. His cum tasted like vanilla ice cream
I told her that I thought she needed an oral mammogram. With me being pre-med she bought it.
i just feel like it would be irresponsible for you to not have sex with me again.
My vagina agrees.
No that's sign language, not a drinking game. I tried to join
where did this taco bell managers name tag come from ?
I was in the library and saw 2 dudes hackysacking in a study room with 3 girls working. I asked if I could join; as soon as I closed the door the chicks offered me tequila shots. study session w/everyone cancelled, I'm busy.
'Well you know, stuff happens' isn't really an excuse for sticking a cheeto in my ear
My ex was there, the 2 girls I'm seeing showed up and I had a pocket full of VIP passes 2 the strip club. Had all the makings of an epic night but I fell asleep at the bar.
I just read "to infinity and beyond" as "to infidelity and beyond" something is seriously wrong with my psyche
Just burnt my nuts with a cigarette. Don't ask. I hate life.
I knew this night was headed for bad when I was drinking cherry bombs out of a sippy cup in the shower
Needless to say, she forgave him, they're back together, and I'm seriously considering having a lesbian year.
is it still the walk of shame if his dad gave me a 'thanks for sleeping with my son' head nod on my way out this morning?
Randomize