I'm going to an arts college, I live next to the frat houses, and my room number is 420. god has plans for me and I couldn't be happier.
For some reason fuck navy didn't go over quite as well as say fuck michigan;
3 inches of snow, below zero windchill and i just saw a dude in a wrangler with no doors, shorts a beanie and burton snow goggles. God i love college in colorado
Hey. I found $5 in quarters from one of those state quarter collection books. I'm using it for food tomorrow.
You have proved your worthiness to join me on the quest of taking shots at every academic building on campus by showing up drunk to our test at 12:30 today
This from the guy I found eating salad out of a pot lid in his boxers on his porch last night.
I've never felt so epic in my entire life as I do right now, my bare testicles staring down the ocean itself
I asked if he wanted to sext and he just started sending me pictures of his beard.
My dad used the quotation mark gesture with his hands when he asked how my "roommate" was doing.
That may be because I drunkenly sent him a pick of you two curled up together like kittens. Two very buff kittens.
Don't worry, I'm taking the best gay radar in the World, my sister's boobs. All guy who is not looking at them, it's fair play for us.
you asked the cab driver if he wanted to meet your parents, last night.
He's bringing a lesbian pretending to be his girlfriend to family Christmas. I can not wait to see how this goes.
Unless your apology includes a 20 something with loose morals and a daddy complex, I'm am not interested
He asked me while we were fishing why the passion was gone when we have sex. It's official...I am the dude in this relationship.
You know that text I sent you last night at 2? That was 5 minutes before I ran face first into a wall of not okay
Randomize
