i have some very unhappy turtles in my backseat
yeah my parents were only ten feet away and we somehow managed to do it in five different positions without them noticing
Oscar is the man. He keeps getting pictures of hot nude women with messages in spanish saying "i hope you like it" sent to his phone
whose oscar?
the baller who i guess decided to give out a fake number at the bar last weekend. luckily that fake number was mine. i have enough porn to last me until next month.
i yelled out "tuesday" during orgasim. he fucked me into 2 days from now.
You didn't want to have sex last night because you said your grandpa just died and you didn't want him watching..
Apparently she was filling Miller Lite bottles with water because I refused to be seen drinking water in a bar
There are very few times i will succumb to laying naked on my bathroom floor. But lastnight is a resonable enough cause.
Whatever. I'll just fuck him now and deal with the clingyness later.
I was too drunk to remember throwing up so i probably didn't learn my lesson
He ended up buying the equivalent of dinner at a Mexican place, in weed
He just texted me a video of him jerking off. He must really be looking forward to the Super Bowl.
He is in my tree wearing full on scuba gear ... Get here asap.
Pretty sure I was naked for most of the night.....success
I don't know which is weirder: that she was old enough to have a live-in son close to my age, or that the woman he was with was close to hers
We need to stop smoking. I just ran into a glass door.
Randomize
