all i wanna do is slam about 38 beers eat a whole pizza and wake up naked in the taco bell parking lot
I left him a voicemail saying i went through with the abortion and he texts me back one thing... the bbm "phew" face. really?
i need to buy one of the child leashes to wear at mardi gras or else im never making it out alive
Swear to god this chicks brother got let out of jail for the weekend for the sole purpose of cock blocking me
I paid your cover too so you're on the list as tits mcgee. You're welcome :D
Maybe I'm a robot.
You can't be that drunk already
Gina was bawling her eyes out and then she ran into the street and peed. she kept screaming "LOOK WHAT YOUVE DONE TO ME"
"Clean/organize my room day" turned into "Blast my old Jock Jams cds while getting high as fuck with a strobe light day"
I just want school to he over so we can build a big tent, do drugs inside it, and watch cartoons until the sun comes up.
That's all I've ever wanted.
Final Summary: could he eat a lit sparkler? Probably. Could he do it while peeing off the roof? I'll tell you when you get to the ER.
I wiped my ass with some girl's sock, I would honestly admit if I hate Caitlin's sandwich.
Today's goals: get day drunk then sober up in time for the walking dead tonight.
Ex-boyfriend shit on a ping pong table at a party last night. Taking "party pooper" to a whole new level.
You passed out in my backseat like a legitimate infant. A really drunk, really horny infant
This Cougar is looking at me like I’m a piece of meat and buying me top shelf cocktails
I’m getting a fear boner thinking about what she might do to me
Randomize