I'm 3 blocks south of you watching drag queens.
if i had a camp nickname it would be Flick Bean
call me tomorrow and ask me about coke-whore stripper. It hasnt happened yet, but im sure it will be plenty disappointing.
okay, certainly we can't screw this up, and even as I type, I know we will
You are forgiven. I sent you a picture of a pumpkin man as a gesture of reconciliation.
He was very impressed that you could put your hair in a ponytail by yourself while throwing up.
we should hire that guy that makes pancakes that we met last weekend for our next party. He can feed us, and regulate!
Well apparently I'm no fun since I won't have a threesome with him and my mother.
sleeping in bed with your booty calls married sister...you're the stuff heroes are made of.
THAT IS NOT SOMETHING YOU TELL SOMEBODY THE FIRST TIME YOU MEET THEM IN THE DARK.
You said my dick was impressive. You thank someone when they say that. My momma raised a gentleman.
I think my AA sponsor just booty called me.
So we were in bed when his brother walks in, walks over to me, fist bumps me and says he just wanted to say hi, then leaves...so random lmao
I opened the door, threw up on the street, wiped my mouth and flashed a thumbs up to all of the cars behind us and kept on driving
It doesn't matter if it's only been 3 days since you last changed your sheets. If your fuck buddy comments on how your bed smells like sex, it's time to change them again.
Randomize
