Contrary to popular belief, while 19 is an attractive age, it does not equate to sexual prowess.
I couldn't get internet on my iPod in this hotel room for porn, so I made due with UFC.
I'm not sure what to say to that.
He was eating mac and cheese. Raw. Like as in he was eating the uncooked noodles then pouring the dry cheese in his mouth.
she was rubbing her elbow against the fish tank and laughing hysterically then she said I'M THEIR FISHY GOD and watched harry potter
I'm so sorry man. Roger cartwheeled into a signpost and cut his face open. it was pretty messy so we all went into panic mode.
And then you told me I had large hands and looked like a girl who would have an illegitimate child that I never talked about
id one day like to live in a world full of emotionless and wonderfully fullfilling sex...
Why is my car covered in what appears to be salsa verde?
So how did it go?
I'm not sure if it was all the eggnog or all the alcohol, but hosting an eggnog pong tournament was a mistake.
Why do guys insist on chatting me up this early in the morning? I'm just like "Dude, I look like the bastard child of Einstein and a troll doll. Let me eat my Hot Pocket in peace."
YOUR TO-DO SEX LIST CANNOT CONSIST ENTIRELY OF MY THREE BEST FRIENDS
and their significant others
AND THEIR SIGNIFICANT OTHERS
He referred to his penis as "The Purple Headed Yogurt Slinger." I'm both disgusted and turned on
I got really stoned and got my certification as an ordained minister. How productive has your day been?
So if he doesn't show up do we eat his birthday cake? Because I'm stoned and wrestling is on. What's the proper protocol
I just hooked up with the German exchange student who doesn't speak English. And you said I have no talent.
Randomize
