hey its robert, we just made out in the backyeard. i'm inside now and you should come to the bathroom and meet me.
Do u think she knows her nickname is the oompa loompa
Yeah..And after he fingered me, he wiped it on my face and laughed.
ew wtf
sperm doesn't mix with malibu too well
Is it bad that we're talking like nothing happened?
Ah. Blossoming love after wild blackout drunk sex.
i was quietly enjoying my waffles when he came downstairs naked, kissed me on the forehead, and thanked me for the night before. i didnt even know anyone stayed over.
Today might be the day that I legitimately throw up in my saxophone.
I can feel the alcohol in my calves
did she really put a helmet on, try to make a hole in the wall then pass out on the floor ten minutes later? if thats true ill be there in 15
But you have work tomorrow. And a whore to pick up. And a dinner to eat. And a vagina to slaughter. Your day is full!
I appreciate the concept of vaginal slaughtering.
No. I'm laying on the floor naked. I almost made it to the shower
This could be the definition of living by yourself
He's the conductor of the struggle bus
I RODE THAT FINE PIECE OF STRUGGLE BUS
only I would find a long lost relative through a craigslist casual encounters ad
I made it to work. Still drunk. Definitely pregnant.
whoever decided snowing in 90 percent of campus on a night when the streets are flowing with tequila and skittles was clearly not an R.A.
Randomize
