i saved all my weight watcher points for this alcohol
every time I worry about a career mistake, I remember Michelle Pfeiffer did Grease 2.
Its like we are women, and boise state is a gangster rap song. This game is degrading
i had to take my roommates dildo out of her suitcase so I could use it
the suitcase or the dildo?
her moans were so awkward that i kept asking "what" when she'd say my name...
you said you were a responsible adult. then you licked the wall.
Emily is drunk. We're coming to see you at work and we're bringing jello shots for you.
nothing says "you're fucked" like watching a movie with the family and a handle of vodka comes crashing down from your hiding spot in the ceiling tiles.
Ps I got my nipple pierced. You're just gonna have to accept me for the tool I am and I don't wanna hear any shenanigans.
Does this mean I don't have to apologize for launching about 20 bead necklaces at you from the balcony?
I feel like we have both made good decisions regarding our vaginas lately
Yes, yes I will fake crap in his house for you.
He said that we couldn't refer to each other as brother and sister anymore cuz we were in no way related and he would love nothing more than to get naked with me.
My co-worker accidentally texted me regarding the threesome him and other one are planning.
So were driving two hours to go to a club and Charles packed me a sippy cup full of tequila. He thinks of everything!
Randomize
