school has made you so classy.
that's mcgill. producing sluts since 1884.
Just threw up my room service breakfast with my fake eyelashes and pearls still on.
please dont tell anyone i was drunk
you were publicly making out with a very old very spandex covered woman...they know
She has an emergency bra in her purse. I'm gonna check no on the 'introducing her to my new boyfriend' box.
He told everyone he was freezing their keys so they couldn't drive drunk. When I opened the freezer this morning, my keys were at the bottom of an unfrozen ice cream tub of vodka.
this may be my drink champagne alone in a bbaby pool in the dark night
He had a 99.9% chance of getting laid...until he started cutting down the frat's volleyball nets with his pocket knife.
my head gets it he sucks but my LAME FUCKING HEART IN MY VAGINA doesnt
Tell me when you get here. I'm drinking beer in the bushes next to your house, and I put my hoodie up because I was cold. Pretty sure everyone lowkey thinks i'm homeless.
Who knew that showing someone your boobs would make them stop crying.
Well in other news, my nipples are healing pretty well but next time I get drunk and decide to pierce something please for the love of god stop me!
Just packed a snack to eat on the way to McDonald's. That stoned.
I HAVE A STRAIGHT LINE ACROSS MY ASS ABOUT THE WIDTH OF A SLIM JIM. ERICA!
We could probably bang our way to enlightenment. However acid helps.
Btw I appreciate you as a friend for taking the time to validate my sluttiness
Randomize
